My Lifestyle Speaks-

May 5th, 2017

What Does Your Lifestyle Say About Me?

Ideally, I would choose to answer this question at a later time, as my “Lifestyle” is in transition. But, the question is here and now.

I am like most people, I suppose, in that I would like to believe that, when someone looks at me, they see an awesomely put-together woman who is organized and efficient while still being able to care and be involved and who never misses a beat in keeping her home and family happy and healthy.

Oh, well. I gave up on that a long time ago because I realized that’s not who I really and not who I am supposed to be. I am trying, sometimes desperately, to re-align my lifestyle and my habits towards becoming the person I was meant to be.

At present, in my most honest consideration, I think my lifestyle states that I am a person who is caring of her health, the health of others, and the health of the world. This is what I see when I look at all the non-toxic and/or biodegradable house cleaning and personal care items under my sinks, empty packaging in the recycle bin that bears the words “Non GMO” and “Organic”, and the fresh veggies in my pantry that came from my local farmers and local “Mom &Pop” grocery store.

I still have trouble saying “No.” to people and still have an even bigger struggle with resentment for those who would make that difficult or make me feel guilty for doing so. But, I hope that the positive and intellectual people with whom I happily spend my time and the cultural and educational places where at I choose to spend my time speak to the fact that I am intentional in avoiding negativity and cultivating growth and awareness.

My lifestyle does, I have no doubt, show that I am respectful and considerate and, as I am told, have a very tolerant attitude towards the “Lifestyle” of others. I hold the door for strangers, offer help where I can, always make effort to accommodate different cultural or religious needs and/or beliefs, and I do not get upset by and/or involved in the bad behavior that seems to run rampant on our streets during rush hour.

Nope, I’m not that oh-so-put-together woman. I still do not know where my car keys are half the time, usually manage to get down to “Commando” status before getting laundry done, and have been using a broken coffeepot for weeks because I always forget that when I go shopping.

But, I can honestly say, whether I am correct or not, that I truly believe my Life-style says that I am just, basically, a good person trying to be a better person. I can more than live with that!

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The Chosen Path

I have, over 49 years, walked many paths.

And I have, over 49 years, left the path more than once to wander around, aimlessly, in the woods.  For the last few years, my feelings of being unfulfilled became more unsettling and my thoughts of how much time I had wasted were becoming more of a a quilt trip than any kind of motivation.

Last year, I had an epiphany! Well, it was an epiphany for me any way. I realized that, as long as I kept doing what I was doing, I was just going to keep feeling the way I was feeling. Now, understand, I have had that thought before. But, this time was different, because I didn’t just haul off and move somewhere new, get a new job, or dye my hair thinking that any of that was the way to “re-invent” myself. This time, I looked really hard at exactly was happening (and not happening) in my life and traced the causes back to the responsible party….yep, it was me. Imagine that. But, not any one thing. It was my ability to rationalize and excuse most anyone’s flaws and shortcomings except my own, of course, it was my looking at others for my self-worth, it was over-compensating for low self-esteem, and it was all the little, daily, habits that come with that mindset. It was those habits that formed the mortar for my fortress of chaos and denial. To begin with, I was eating for comfort and I was sleeping far too much for someone to ever be as tired as I always was. Those two factors combined to give me apt reason to avoid any real physical activity that would help my condition (see ABOUT section), no motivation to take care of my appearance, and no true feelings of self-love to inspire doing anything to feel better.

I was a tad shocked. Could it be that easy? If I attacked the foundation, can I bring down the fortress of misery with walls fortified by my repeated Kamikaze behavior?

Photo is not my creation and credited to Muriel Blanc, whose name appears on it, but whom I could not contact.IMG_3551088438280

The answer was a resounding “YES”! Not as simple as that, but as simple as that. So, little by little, I am changing my diet and eating habits, through meditation I am learning to calm and focus the thoughts and feelings, I am using yoga to regain my physical abilities, I am using vitamins and supplements to replace medications and reinforce my diet, and I am learning to love myself, through the love of my family and a lot of help from people who have been in my shoes!

Now that I have a bit of sure footing under me, I am inviting you to share in my journey.

Chris